Jake: No, not Janey Briggs! She's got glasses! And a ponytail! And she's wearing paint-covered overalls! Ugh!
Girl at Party: Dude, you can't start a slow clap at any time and expect everyone to join in.
Catherine: I want to sleep with you.
Priscilla: You put the "suck" in "liposuction" You put the "ooo" in "jiu-jitsu" You put the "ism" in "This is all just a defense mechanism".
Mr. Briggs: [to Janey] Good night, Pumpkin Tits.
cheerleader: You better bring it.
Mr. Briggs: Sorry I won't be able to pick you up after
school. I'll be too drunk.
Amanda: Do you think I sleep with every guy who writes me a letter? No! I give them hand jobs.
Priscilla: I need t-to-the-fourth-power-y
Reggie Ray: Coach says it's okay to bleed from the ears.
Richard Vernon: Don't mess with the bull, young man. You'll get the horns.
Janey: I knew it. That's a line from "She's All That".
I masturbate to that movie.
[practicing for cheerleading]
Priscilla: This is not a cheer-ocracy, I am the cheer-tator, I will make the cheer-isions around here, and I will deal with the cheer-onsequences!
Teen at prom: Who would've guessed that everyone in school was a professional dancer?
Austin: All I said was: "I'm pretending to whisper a big secret in your ear so that Jake here thinks I'm telling you a secret, which will cause him to break into a hysterical confession where he actually reveals a big secret. Thus confirming everything I just whispered in your ear."
Catherine: Not scoring any cock, either?
Mitch: No longer will our penises be flaccid and unused!
Bruce: Mitch, girl go pee-pee not something I want to
Catherine: [During song] So what if we have the same mother. Tonight I'm gonna Fuck my Brother.
Janey: [talking about her dead mom] I remember it like
it was yesterday, Christmas 1989, Dad had just gotten fired from the Zippo
factory, Mom was still pulling in tricks to make ends meet, Daniel Day
Lewis won an Oscar for "My Left Foot", and all I wanted was one of those
little Betsy Wetsy dolls.
Austin: My Freshmen year I threw 176 touchdown passes. My sophomore year I ran in 14 myself.. with a sprained ankle, a broken phalange, a ruptured duodenum, and a sub dermal hematoma.
Janey: Jake, you haven't talked to me in, like, four years!
Sandy Sue: Gimme a W! Gimme a Y! Gimme a...LICK MY PUSSY
ASS COCK SHIT!
Catherine: Can I ask you a question? Why is it then whenever
I tell a guy to put it wherever they want, they always stick it in my ass?
Malik: What are you doing here?
Janey: You never noticed my glasses and my ponytail.
Mitch: God, we're pathetic! How are we ever going to get
laid before graduation!?!
Mr. Cornish: And now the moment every popular guy who`s made a bet to turn a rebellious girl into prom queen has been waiting for.
Albino Folk Singer: [Singing] I have no pigment!
Areola: I need no class schedule. I am only object of lust for poor nerds who can't get any real American pussy!
Jake: Where's Janey?
Ricky: Here's Ricky!
Malik: Sure, Why Not?, After All I am Jus the token black guy. I'm jus supposed to smile and stay out of the conversation and say thing like: "Damn," "shit," and "that's whack."
Janey: I read Sylvia Plath, I listen to Bikini Kill and
I eat Tofu. I am a unique individual!
Jake: She's right...maybe you should get on that plane to Paris. Cause if you stay, we really only have the summer, then I go to college and we'll talk on the phone and spend the occasional weekend together which is nice. But chances are one night I'm gonna get wrecked and have unprotected sex with some girl in my dorm. You'll find her thong and call me a slut...I'll call you a cock-tease and we'll break up. So when you really think about it, what's the point?
Flight attendant: We all know where this is going... fucking teenagers!