AMERICAN BEAUTY

Lester Burnham: You don't get to tell me what to do ever again. Jane Burnahm: Don't you feel naked? Ricky Fitts: I am naked Carolyn Burnham: Are you trying to look unattractive? Jane: Yes. Carolyn Burnham: Well, congratulations. You've succeded admirably. Ricky Fitts: I'm not obsessing. I'm just curious. Carolyn Burnham: Uh, who's car is that out front? Lester Burnham: Mine. 1970 Pontiac Firebird. The car I've always wanted and now I have it. I rule! Carolyn Burnham: This is a four thousand dollar sofa upholstered in Italian silk. It is not just a couch. Lester Burnham: IT'S JUST A COUCH! Lester Burnham: Smile! You're at Mr. Smiley's. Lester Burnham: It's okay. I wouldn't remember me either. Angela Hayes: What do you want? Lester Burnham: Are you kidding? I want you. Ricky Fitts: Welcome to America's weirdest home videos. [Last line] Lester Burnham: You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry, you will someday. Lester Burnham: Look at me. Jerking off in the shower. This will be the highlight of my day. Lester Burnham: I feel like I've been in a coma for the past twenty years. And I'm just now waking up. Jane Burnham: I know you think my dad's harmless, but you're wrong. Carolyn Burnham: You ungrateful little brat! Just look at everything you have. When I was your age, we... lived in a duplex! We didn't even have our own house! Carolyn Burnham: Fuck me, your majesty! Angela Hayes: At least I'm not ugly! Ricky Fitts: Yes you are. And you're boring. And you're totally ordinary. And you know it. Brad Dupree: Man, you are one twisted fuck. Lester Burnham: Nope, I'm just an ordinary guy with nothing to lose. Ricky Fitts: Excuse me for speaking so bluntly sir. But those fags make me want to puke my fucking guts out. Colonel Fitts: Well, me too son. Me too. Ricky Fitts: It was one of those days when it's a minute away from snowing and there's this electricity in the air, you can almost hear it, right? And this bag was like, dancing with me. Like a little kid begging me to play with it. For fifteen minutes. And that's the day I knew there was this entire life behind things, and... this incredibly benevolent force, that wanted me to know there was no reason to be afraid, ever. Video's a poor excuse. But it helps me remember... and I need to remember... Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it, like my heart's going to cave in. Brad: [reading Lester's job description] My job requires mostly masking my contempt for the assholes in charge, and, at least once a day, retiring to the men's room so I can jerk off while I fantasize about a life that less closely resembles Hell. Jim #1: Do you just want to lose weight, or are you looking to increase strength and flexibility as well? Lester Burnham: I want to look good naked! Ricky Fitts: So, do you like to party? Lester Burnham: What? Ricky Fitts: Do you like to get high? Lester Burnham: I suppose I could be pissed off about what happened to me. But it's hard to stay mad when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much. My heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst. Catering Boss: I'm not paying you to do... whatever it is you're doing. Ricky Fitts: So don't pay me. Catering Boss: Excuse me? Ricky Fitts: I quit. So you don't have to pay me. Now leave me alone. Lester Burnham: I think you just became my personal hero. Carolyn Burnham: Honey, I watched you the whole time, and you didn't screw up once! Carolyn Burnham: There happens to be a lot about me that you don't know, Mr. Smarty Man. There's plenty of joy in my life. Brad: Got a minute? Lester Burnham: For you, Brad, I've got five! Angela Hayes: If people I don't even know look at me and want to fuck me, it means I really have a shot at being a model. Angela Hayes: You too, slut, you have a crush on him. You're defending him, you love him, you wanna have, like, ten thousand of his babies. Ricky Fitts: My dad thinks I paid for all this with catering jobs. Never underestimate the power of denial. Lester Burnham: This isn't life, it's just stuff. And it's become more important to you than living. Well, honey, that's just nuts. Lester Burnham: Remember those posters that said, "Today is the first day of the rest of your life"? Well, that's true of every day but one --- the day you die. Jane Burnham: I need a father who's a role model, not some horny geek-boy who's gonna spray his shorts every time I bring a girlfriend home from school. Jane Burnham: Are you scared? Ricky Fitts: I don't get scared. Jane Burnham: My parents will try to find me. Ricky Fitts: Mine won't. Angela Hayes: It's that psycho next door. Jane, what if he worships you? What if he's got a shrine with pictures of you surrounded by dead people's heads and stuff? Ricky Fitts: I was filming this dead bird. Angela Hayes: Why? Ricky Fitts: Because it's beautiful. Lester Burnham: How's Jane? Angela Hayes: What do you mean? Lester Burnham: I mean, how's her life? Is she happy? Is she miserable? I'd really like to know, and she'd die before she'd ever tell me about it. Angela Hayes: She's... she's really happy. She thinks she's in love. Lester Burnham: Good for her. Angela Hayes: How are you? Lester Burnham: God, it's been a long time since anybody asked me that. ...I'm great. Angela Hayes: I've gotta go to the bathroom. Lester Burnham: I'm great. [at the dinner table] Carolyn Burnham: Your father and I were just discussing his day at work. Why don't you tell our daughter about it, honey? Lester Burnham: Janie, today I quit my job. And then I told my boss to go fuck himself, and then I blackmailed him for almost sixty thousand dollars. Pass the asparagus. Carolyn Burnham: Your father seems to think this type of behavior is something to be proud of. Lester Burnham: And your mother seems to prefer I go through life like a fucking prisoner while she keeps my dick in a mason jar under the sink. Carolyn Burnham: How dare you speak to me that way in front of her. And I marvel that you can be so contemptuous of me, on the same day that you LOSE your job. Lester Burnham: Lose it? I didn't lose it. It's not like, "Whoops! Where'd my job go?" I QUIT. Someone pass me the asparagus. Mr. Smiley's Manager: I don't think you'd fit in here. Lester Burnham: I have fast food expierience. Mr. Smiley's Manager: Yeah, like twenty years ago! Lester Burnham: Well, I'm sure there have been marvelous advances in the industry, but surely you must have some sort of training program. It's unfair you presume I won't be able to learn. Carolyn Burnham: I see you're smoking pot now. I suppose you think smoking illegal psychotropic substances is a good example to set for our sixteen year-old daughter?! Lester Burnham: You're one to talk, you bloodless, money-grubbing freak. Carolyn Burnham: What the hell do you think you're doing? Lester Burnham: I'm going to whale on my pecs and then do my back. Lester Burnham: I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life. Jane Burnham: [turning the camera on Ricky] Don't you feel naked? Ricky Fitts: I am naked. Lester Burnham: [narrating] That's my wife, Carolyn. See the way the handle on her pruning shears matches her gardening clogs? That's not an accident. Colonel Frank Fitts: You need structure... and discipline. Ricky Fitts: Thank you for trying to teach me, sir. Don't give up on me, Dad. Carolyn Burnham: My company sells an image. It's part of my job to live that image. Lester Burnham: [narrating] It's a great thing when you realize you still have the ability to surprise yourself. Carolyn Burnham: What are you doing? Lester Burnham: Nothing. Carolyn Burnham: You were masturbating! Lester Burnham: I was not. Carolyn Burnham: Yes you were! Lester Burnham: Oh, all right! So shoot me, I was whacking off! That's right, I was choking the bishop, chafing the carrot, you know, saying "hi" to my monster! Lester Burnham: When I was your age, I flipped burgers just to be able to buy an eight-track. Ricky Fitts: That sucks. Lester Burnham: No, actually it was great. All I did was party and get laid. I had my whole life ahead of me. Buddy Kane: In order to be successful, one must project an image of success at all times. Carolyn Burnham: I refuse to be a victim! Jane Burnham: Somebody should just put him out of his misery. Ricky Fitts: Do you want me to kill him? Jane Burnham: Yeah, would you? > Back To The Main Movie Quotes Page Contact/Submit     theNSAisWATCHIN     News Monster     Images Archive       News Monster Archive The Frances Farmers Revenge Web Portal