BIG LURCH - BIG MISTAKE

Meet Rap Star, guess we should say, FORMER Rap Star,  BIG LURCH of Compton, California.

He took his roomate (a woman with 2 kids) and grabbed a butcher knife. He stabbed her in the chest, repeatedly. Then he sliced her chest open. Next, he ripped out her right lung and placed it tastefully on the coffee table. Police were called when neighbors discovered BIG LURCH hanging out in the street, nude...and very bloody. Officers noted that BIG LURCH'S mouth was the bloodiest part of his whole body. It took 4 officers to wrestle BIG LURCH to the pavement and handcuff him. In the patrol car, BIG LURCH continued to scream incoherently. (Or was he uttering the lyrics to one of his new Hip-Hop compositions?)

Deciding to check up on Tynish Yasis (that's BIG LURCH'S roomate) the officers entered the house. There on the coffee table, displayed ever so tastefully, was her lung. But that's not what shocked them the most.

Officers winced and turned their heads as they noted that the lung had BIG LURCH'S teeth marks all over it. As it turns out, BIG LURCH chewed and actually swallowed a few pieces of her lung before he ripped off his clothes and went outside to hang-out in the street.

I guess that makes Ms. Yasis BIG LURCH'S ex-roomate.

Here's the clincher: BIG LURCH'S lawyer says it's not BIG LURCH'S fault, because he was hallucinating on PCP, better known as Angel Dust, and was insane at the time of the murder.

Contact/Submit     theNSAisWATCHIN     News Monster     Images Archive       News Monster Archive
The Frances Farmers Revenge Web Portal