The News Monster
Brought To You By TheNSAisWATCHIN
8-13-04


46 Year Old Female Tutor Admits Sex
With 11-Year-Old Blind Boy

NJ Governor Resigns
'I Am A Gay American'

Fun With Hamsters
No - This Story Is Not About Richard Gere

Rethinking MSNBC

Porter Goss 'Not Qualified' For CIA

Skydiver's 'Victory' Jump Proves
To Be His Final Undoing

Al Sharpton For Mayor

Meet The German Clown With
The Dead Camel

'Malfunctioning Fax Machine' Sends Tony
Blair's Secret Itinerary To The Press
Instead Of The Police

Trapped Hiker Makes Video Diary

Here Come The Locusts, Darfur

Mike Wallace:  Meatloaf And Handcuffs

Coming Soon - Zombie Movie
Filmed At Chernobyl

Even More Than TIVO - Meet IMP

Guy Gets Prison After The Parents Of
A Fifth Grade Girl Read In Her Diary
That She Was 'Dating A Married Man'

Jennifer Garner Blames Media For
The Breakup Of Her Marraige

Images Of Jennifer Garner

Playboy Bunnies As Slaves?
Images Of Author Jill Ann Spaulding

New Jersey Symphony Bought
Some Fake Instruments

Prostitute Held In Assault On
Deaf, Blind, And Mute Man

Explorers Find UFO Fragments In Russia...

Vanessa Williams Divorcing
Images Of Vanessa Williams

Colin Powell To Skip GOP Convention

Kate Faber Sues Kobe In Civil Court
Coverage
More On Her Is Here

Look Everyone, I've Got Dave Matthews'
Shit All Over Me! - See It On Ebay Soon...?

The Empire State Bldg To Honor Fay Wray

New Rammstein Video Sounds Promising...

Two Words That Shouldn't Go Together:
Topless AND Elderly

Homeless Guy Who Was Inspiration For
The Movie The Terminal, Still Lives In The
Airport, Despite The Money They Paid
Him For His Story

Its Whipstock Time Everyone!

International Observers To Oversee The Upcoming US Elections?
Sounds Crazy...But...Well - If Anyone Remembers How The Last One Went...

More Kidnap And Murder In Iraq
Bulgarian Hostage Beheaded
Download The Bulgarian Video Here
'CIA' Agent Also Killed?
Download The CIA Video Here

Meanwhile Back Home...
Goofy Shirtless Guy Fakes Beheading
FBI Investigates
Download The Video Here
Videos Require Divx

Worm Author Pleads Guilty

Pole Dancing For Fitness

Former Sheriff Jailed Twice In 24 Hours

Los Angeles Tries To Head Off Wal-Mart

Your Signature As A 3D Hologram

"I Want You To Play, With My Ding-A-Ling"

Man Rents Billboard To Find A Liver

Pop Star Gabrielle Has A
'Violent Shock Triggered Obsession'
-She's Afraid of Going To The Bathroom

Images Of Gabrielle

Cameron Diaz To Wed
The Bondage Video...
Images Of Cameron Diaz

Mother/Daughter Team Murder,
Mutilate Cab Driver


What Is He Thinking Of Doing With That Thing?
Bush = Wal-Mart, Kerry = Costco

Tennis Star Sues Over Topless Photos
Images Of Anastasia Myskina

Always One To Write And Say Popular Things,
Salman Rushdie Praises Pornography

Life Keeps Imitating The Simpsons
Pipe In Japanese Nuclear Plant Where
Four Died Hadn't Been Checked
In 28 Years!

Hackers AIM At Instant Messenger

George 'Hoover' Bush

Four Family Members Arrested For
Eating A Cousin At Wedding Reception

No, You Read That Right - Click And See...

Cat Attacks Pilot, Brings Plane Down Early

Teens Blowing Up Mailboxes Have
Mortar Explode Inside Their Pickup Instead

Pissing All Over The Cooter Festival


Hacking Lori Hacking


Porn Filmmaker Gets Severely Beaten
For Not Paying Actress

Things On My To-Do List
1. Pick Up Laundry, 2. Rob Bank...

Beware Of Giant 'Super-Dingoes'

Washington Post Admits To
Dumping Iraq Stories

Rachel Hunter Laments Big Butt
Images Of Rachel Hunter

Tom Sizemore Arrested, Again

Beyonce Delays Marriage To Make
Movie About Herself

Images Of Beyonce

Tech Firms Want More Females

How To Score On The First Date
By Scott Peterson

Woman Dies While
Being Surgically Removed From Couch

What Are "Cleavage Of The
Nates Of The Human Buttocks"?

Shatner To Again Be Kirk

Will The Real Ringo Please Stand Up

Movie Producers Want Julia Stiles
To Get Bigger Boobs

Images Of Julia Stiles

Videotaped Nude On The Tanning Bed

Laxatives Fail On Alleged Thief

Your Name Makes You Sexier

The Re-Opening Of The World's
First Kentucky Fried Chicken, Which
For Some Reason Is Located In Utah,
Is Marred By PETA Protests

The Secret Recipe

School Board Candidate 
Defends Nightclub Arrest

Oral Sex 'Blows' Cosmo Off Shelves

Pakistani Held For Videotaping Buildings

Muslim Rail Worker Ordered To Shave

Cat Returns Home After 18 Years

Man, 41, Charged With Sexual Assault
He Committed When He Was 11

Motor Vehicle Deaths Decline
For First Time in Six Years

Internet Archive Gets Exemption
To Archive Vintage Software

Naomi Campbell Has Anger Issues
Images Of Naomi Campbell

Who Steals A Clown Car,
I Mean, Honestly!?

Thieves Caught After Arguing Loudly
On Bus About How To Split The Loot

Crazy, Drunk, Hong Kong Prosecutor
Makes Mockery Of Court, And Rodin

Portman Film Has Poop Trouble
Natalie Portman To Play A Stripper
Images of Natalie Portman

Can You Name All 53 States?

Koko:  My Tooth Hurts

Suicide Jumper Accidentally Kills
Someone Else...

Prostitute's Johns To Get Names
Put On Billboard

 

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