The News Monster
Brought To You By TheNSAisWATCHIN
6-6-04

Drunk Driving Woman Goes Wrong
Way On Interstate, Kills 2

Sheriff Gets Shot With Taser Gun On
TV To Show How Safe It Is

"Walter The Farting Dog"
Coming Soon To A Theatre Near You


Meet Marvin John Heemeyer - Muffler
Shop Owner, Man About Town, And The
Guy On The Bulldozer Who
Went On A Rampage, Knocking
Down City Hall, The Library,
The Newspaper Building And More...

More About Stories Like This

The Torso Killer Wants Her Stuff Back

Burglar Done In By His Own Dandruff

Teen Inmate Buys Porn With His
Commissary Account

And In Other Porn Related News:
12 Year Old, Chatting At School
Prints Out Picture Of Penis
Some Guy Sent Her While Messaging

George Bush And Umbrella Pics

Crane Falls On, Destroys House

Girl Stabs Girl In Japan
And It Started On The Internet

Coke In A Pepsi Machine
And NOT Coca-Cola

"Family Ties" Actor Gets DUI
As For Other 80's Has Beens:
See Kirk Cameron's Website
Everyone Who Doesn't Believe
What He Does Is Going To Hell

20 Year Old Steals Dad Police
Cruiser To Pull Over Ex-Girlfriend

An Alligator Walks Into FL Restaurant

Naked Mall Shopper Arrested

Father And Uncle Arrested For
Using 7 Year Old To Shoplift

Cell Phones Now Illegal In North Korea?

Japanese Tourist Drives Off Cliff
In New Zealand Just
Enjoying The Scenery

Prison Guards Stand By And Watch
Parolee Get Stripped By Other Inmates

See The $130,000 Strip Club Tab

 

Finally, That Hovercraft We Were
Promised In Childhood

Gynecologist Used Prescription Drugs,
A Rarely Used Ultra-Sound Probe, And Even
His Twin Brother To Molest Female Patients

Kid Brings Crack To School For Show And Tell

Fighting Over The Bones Of
The Wookey Witch

In More Famous Bone News:
The Buddha's Finger Bone

Mini-Me Seeks Annulment From Model

There Will Be No Singing On SLC Buses!

Sleeping With Fiancé Lands Woman In Jail

Short Skirts Stir Animal Instincts

Papa Johns Founder and World Champion
Cyclist Taken Out By Thrown Textbook

14 Year Old Who Stabbed Best Friend
Hoped To Become Serial Killer

This Cook Is Your Worst Nightmare

Prosecutor Says Of Shooting Victim
"this guy had it coming"
Store Owner Avoids Charges

40 Pound Growth Removed From Uterus

Saved By The Toilet

Juliette Lewis Is Just Friggin Weird

93 Year Old Woman Severely Attacked By
Ants In Bradenton, FL Nursing Home
Gets 1.2 Million In Court

But She'll Never See A Penny...

Summer Is Fun For A Lot Of Reasons

Guy Gets 24 Years For Torching Lawyer's Cars
Jeez - He Would Have Gotten One Tenth
That Had He Just Stolen Them
And Dumped Them In A Lake

Microsoft Patents The Double Click

Burglars Steal Cameras And A Car
They Take Pictures Of Themselves
Leave Cameras In Car...

Janet Jackson Is Just As Weird As Michael

Train Lets Disabled Guy Out At Closed Station

Which Twin Is The Rapist?

Woman Survives Pole Through The Chest

Guy Falls 12 Stories Trying To
Screw In Light Bulb...Lives

Meet The Disgraced Doctor
With The Piñata Full Of Drugs

Croatian Star "Severina" Has Sex Tape Stolen
Who Is Severina, How To Find The Footage
More On Stories Like This

Woman's Petition To Save The
Post Office Gets Lost In The Mail

School Cancels Marijuana Festival

Woman Runs For Election Citing
Husband's Credentials Because He Is
Prohibited From Running

Meet The Man Whose Sweat Is Green

Senior Citizens Prank Gone Awry
"It Was Funny, Until Someone
Stepped On Them And Killed Them"


Wearing As Little As Possible
How Much More Skin Can You Show
Without Showing It All?

Woman Has Baby In A Tree After
She Gets Stuck There In Flood

School Shooting ala Crossbow

UK Schools Cancel Field Trips
If The Weather Is Sunny!?

Meet The Landscaper Who Designed
And Sold A Device To Steal Enery
...He Has Been Arrested

The CIA and The KGB Fought
Over Dead Alien's Body

OJ Simpson Speaks

Thieves Break Into Bar
Begin Selling Beer For Cash

Mountain Lion Surrenders After Standoff

Man Who Drove His Truck Into A Shed
As A Joke Gets Jail Time
Turns Out Someone Was In The Shed

Dogs In The News
Dog Beats Horse In Inter-Species Race
Dog Eats Man
Man Beheads Dog
And The Classic Headline - Man Bites Dog

Police Looking For The Naked
Drive Thru Customer

Yahoo's Anti-Adware Program
Doesn't Block Content From
Yahoo Partners

"Sex Is Driving Me Crazy"
Complains Swedish Woman
(Not Her Own Sex-But The Neighbors)

Gas Prices Drop Right
After Busy Memorial Day Weekend

Coincidence?

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