The News Monster
Brought To You By TheNSAisWATCHIN
6-5-04


Meet Marvin John Heemeyer - Muffler
Shop Owner, Man About Town, And The
Guy On The Bulldozer Who
Went On A Rampage, Knocking
Down City Hall, The Library,
The Newspaper Building And More...

More About Stories Like This

The Torso Killer Wants Her Stuff Back

Burglar Done In By His Own Dandruff

Teen Inmate Buys Porn With His
Commissary Account

And In Other Porn Related News:
12 Year Old, Chatting At School
Prints Out Picture Of Penis
Some Guy Sent Her While Messaging

George Bush And Umbrella Pics

Crane Falls On, Destroys House

Girl Stabs Girl In Japan
And It Started On The Internet

Coke In A Pepsi Machine
And NOT Coca-Cola

"Family Ties" Actor Gets DUI
As For Other 80's Has Beens:
See Kirk Cameron's Website
Everyone Who Doesn't Believe
What He Does Is Going To Hell

20 Year Old Steals Dad Police
Cruiser To Pull Over Ex-Girlfriend

An Alligator Walks Into FL Restaurant

Naked Mall Shopper Arrested

Father And Uncle Arrested For
Using 7 Year Old To Shoplift


School Secretary Sends Nude
Pictures Of Herself To Students

Link To Her MSN Profile
"Don't Cry Because It's Over,
Smile Because It Happened"
Her Info Is As Follows:
Karolyn and Arthur Klauer-Disterhaft
N8861 Fox River Shrs
Berlin, WI 54923-8783
(920) 361-1758


There Will Be No Singing
On Salt Lake City Buses!

Sleeping With Fiancé Lands Woman In Jail

Short Skirts Stir Animal Instincts

Papa Johns Founder and World Champion
Cyclist Taken Out By Thrown Textbook

14 Year Old Who Stabbed Best Friend
Hoped To Become Serial Killer

This Cook Is Your Worst Nightmare

Prosecutor Says Of Shooting Victim
"this guy had it coming"
Store Owner Avoids Charges

40 Pound Growth Removed From Uterus

Saved By The Toilet

Juliette Lewis Is Just Friggin Weird

93 Year Old Woman Severely Attacked By
Ants In Bradenton, FL Nursing Home
Gets 1.2 Million In Court

But She'll Never See A Penny...

Summer Is Fun For A Lot Of Reasons

Guy Gets 24 Years For Torching Lawyer's Cars
Jeez - He Would Have Gotten One Tenth
That Had He Just Stolen Them
And Dumped Them In A Lake

Microsoft Patents The Double Click

Burglars Steal Cameras And A Car
They Take Pictures Of Themselves
Leave Cameras In Car...

Janet Jackson Is Just As Weird As Michael

Train Lets Disabled Guy Out At Closed Station

Finally, A Cardboard Piano

Which Twin Is The Rapist?

Woman Survives Pole Through The Chest

Guy Falls 12 Stories Trying To
Screw In Light Bulb...Lives

Meet The Disgraced Doctor
With The Piñata Full Of Drugs

Croatian Star "Severina" Has Sex Tape Stolen
Who Is Severina, How To Find The Footage
More On Stories Like This


Wearing As Little As Possible
How Much More Skin Can You Show
Without Showing It All?

Woman Has Baby In A Tree After
She Gets Stuck There In Flood

School Shooting ala Crossbow

UK Schools Cancel Field Trips
If The Weather Is Sunny!?

Meet The Landscaper Who Designed
And Sold A Device To Steal Enery
...He Has Been Arrested

The CIA and The KGB Fought
Over Dead Alien's Body

OJ Simpson Speaks

Thieves Break Into Bar
Begin Selling Beer For Cash

Mountain Lion Surrenders After Standoff

Man Who Drove His Truck Into A Shed
As A Joke Gets Jail Time
Turns Out Someone Was In The Shed

Dogs In The News
Dog Beats Horse In Inter-Species Race
Dog Eats Man
Man Beheads Dog
And The Classic Headline - Man Bites Dog

Police Looking For The Naked
Drive Thru Customer

Sex In The City Film Fiasco

Yahoo's Anti-Adware Program
Doesn't Block Content From
Yahoo Partners

See The $130,000 Strip Club Tab

"Sex Is Driving Me Crazy"
Complains Swedish Woman
(Not Her Own Sex-But The Neighbors)

Gas Prices Drop Right
After Busy Memorial Day Weekend

Coincidence?

Cell Phones Now Illegal In North Korea?

Japanese Tourist Drives Off Cliff
In New Zealand Just
Enjoying The Scenery

Prison Guards Stand By And Watch
Parolee Get Stripped By Other Inmates

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