The News Monster
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4-23-04

Wife Divorces Husband Over Viagra

Imaginary Girlfriends

If At First You Don't Succeed...

Prime Minister Fired
Via Text Message

Woman Poses As Army Officer,
Runs Up Bar Tab

12 Year Old Threatens Allergic
Teacher With Peanut Butter Cookie

Senators Wife Charged Over
Mulch Incident

And As It Turns Out The Kitty
Was Not Eaten By An Alligator

Indecent Proposal

Europe To Become Giant Theme Park


Oklahoma City Anniversary News:
The Bombing Was Taped
Also:
To Commemorate The Anniversary
This Guy Parks A Ryder-Type Truck
Outside A Federal Building

As Nader Predicted:
Draft Talks Begin On Capitol Hill
Previously On The News Monster:
Nader Says A Draft Is Imminent

Florida Republican Jokes
About Hilary Assasination

Woman Discovers Scissors In Abdomen

Lack of Females Killed The Dinosaurs?

Car Makers Tho-in Out Da
Phat Bling Bling Yo

When The Vice-President And I
Are Alone It's Just Dick And Colin

Three Eyed Double Mouthed
Calf In Good Health

Take A Ride In The Party Cab

Babysitters Kill Themselves
After Baby In Their Care Dies


Is Kevin Spacey Gay?
First He Said He Was Mugged
Read The Suns Coverage
So Was He Mugged?
Is He Coming Clean or Covering Up?
Maybe He Just Hits From Both
Sid
es of The Plate?

Man Accused of Raping His Aunt

Angelina Jolie Threatens Us With
Nudity Until She's About 40

Colorado Rockies Player Finds
Dead Body On His Property

Musician Accidentally Sets Self On Fire

And Here It Comes
A Knight Rider Movie?

The Simpsons Are Going On Strike

Attempted Robbery:
With A Laser-Pointer

Cruise and Cruz:
Did They Split Over Scientology?

Or Was It Those Pesky
Homosexuality...Rumors

Parnell Sentenced For Trying To
Buy 5 Year Old for $500

Related: The Brother of One Of His
Earlier Victims Became A Serial Killer

Jefferson Country Republicans
Play Rough

Skull Found In Oregon Dates
Back To 1600's

Etiquette For Today's Coed

Rich Lady Gives Students
$50 For Every A

Spain Has No Balls
Calls Home Troops After Terrorism

Atkins Tinkers With It's Image


Dru Sjodin's Body Found

USA Today Website Names
Wrong Apprentice Winner

Tallest Living Man Wants To Stop Growing

Reverse Straight/Homosexual
Discrimination in Key West

Rocky Road - Not An Ice Cream Story

This Guy Slashed 1728 Tires

Guy Tries To Steal Baby
In Other Failed Kidnapping News:
Guy Tries To Get Woman At Wal-Mart
Two British Guys Fail To Get Boy

Despite The HIV Scare, Porn Stars
Want To Work

See People - It's Like I've Been Telling Ya'
When You Do What You Love...
Nothin' Else Matters!

Murphy Brown Actor Died
From Heroin Overdose

Visiting Afghan Soccer Players
Flee Before German Road Game

I'm Amazed To Find They Even
HAD A Soccer Ball

Aspiring Rapper Accidentally Killed With
Gun Doing A Photo Shoot For CD

Sexual Deviant Filmed His Own
Bondage Death

Salt Lake City Taxpayers Get
Creative With Deductions

Here Come The Computer Chips
In The Brain

The Good Old Days:
Spam Free Email

Steve Jobs Will Keep It Real
WITHOUT Real Networks

Man Shoots At Dog
Hits Girl On Porch Instead

Death By Tent Pole

Church Boots Lesibans

Mom Throws Flower Pot
At Head of Taunting Policeman

Japanese Soap Star Caught With
Under Aged Prostitute

Ford Offers Armored Lincoln

A TV That Becomes A Mirror
Does Anyone Else Find This Ironic?

Amateur Girls Gone Wild Videographer
In Trouble

Don't Play Your Violin While Driving

Australian Hip Hop Polly-Tician Yo

Meet A Real Life James Bond

Spain Plotters Likely Still At Large

Man Beaten To Death At Wal-Mart

Judge Sides With Stripper

"Is It Sex If You Can't Get Pregnant?"
In Other Child Sex News:
Sex Bracelets

Serial Killer Coral Watts
Waives Extradition

See Also:
Serial Killers Live Here
The Lives of Serial Killers


Bathing With Britney

Pet Restaurant Now Open

 
Photo of Marine With Kurdish Kids
Angers Islamic Groups

Click The Image For Another Version

Bending HER Over Beckham?
Denial
Boob Slip of Rebecca Loos

Other Rebecca Loos Pics 1 2 3
Rebeccy On Beckys Pecky
"I Felt Like A Whore"
Another Girl Came Forward
And Apparently She's A Working Girl

Her Pics - 1 2 3



When White Guys Riot

Another Boys Don't Cry Story
What Is Boys Don't Cry?

Dead Guy Isn't Dead, Apparently
After 22 Years He Shows Up
His "Murderer" Demands Justice


Audrey Seiler Charged

She Just Wanted Attention!
Be Careful What You Wish For

Just So You People Know
THE ONION IS SATIRE

America's Worst Driver

Unluckiest Parents In The World

Woman Finds Drunk Man In Bed
Normally Its The Other Way Round...

Naked Sushi

I Thought They Were Just "Friends"
...But Two Can Play At That Game

Why Aren't Wooden
Computers More Popular?

This Would Have Made A Better Headline:
Siemens Prematurely Evacuating Iraq

Korean Explosion Death Toll Fluctuates
Widely, Korea Itself Tight Lipped

Hand Holding Couple Charged
With Indecency

For Freed Japanese Hostages
Their Release Means More Stress

When Outsourcing Fails
Bring The Jobs Back Here


We All Know Hitler Had
Only Had One Testicle
But Was This Vegetarian Also Gay?

USA Today Editor
Resigns Over Plagarism Scandal

Whats This About?

From The News We Already Knew File:
The Internet Is Vulnerable
To Hackers

For An Extra $50, Minister Will
Go That Extra Eulogy Mile For Ya

Giorgio Armani Has Fake Armani Watch

Man Jailed For Going Undercover
To Arrest His Neighbor

Never A Shortage of These Stories:
Teen Girl Has Baby, Puts It In A Bag

Harvard Nudes Coming

Sexually Assaulted Twice
In One Day


Guy Has Surgery To Look Like Elvis

Brokaw Leaving The Air

Obscenity Laced Adidas Ad

Courtney Love Owes Millions
As Well As A Few Apologies

Introducing The Paper DVD


Riot At Iowa State

Throwing Yourself To The Lions

Meet The German Wal-Mart:  Aldi

Christina Aguilera To Pose Nude
For Phone Ad

NHL Player Arrested In
Murder For Hire Plot

A False Report About
Poisoned Toilet Paper

William Shatner's Next Frontier:
Shutterbugging For Playboy

Trail of Pennies Leads To
Robbery Suspects


Her Name Is Sho-Ya Wang

Dick Cheney's Home County
Is The Richest In The Nation


Bringing Out The Dead

The List of The Dead So Far
Fallujah Images
Looking Back - Iraqi Gratitude
Rumsfeld: Iraq Toll Higher Than Expected
Rove Laments Banner
Who Is Carl Rove?

Cookie Tin Has Sexually Explicit
Artwork By Disgruntled Employee

Broadcasters Get
Serious About Satellite Radio

Hackers Attacked Advanced
Computer Networks

Smart Robbers Call Ahead

Vince Neil Pleads No Contest
To Roughing Up Prostitute

SO - SHE FILES CIVIL SUIT INSTEAD

Immigration Crackdown Rumors
Have Houston's Construction Industry
Grinding To A Halt


Bondage Couple Gets A Break

Judge Hits On Rape Victim
HEY - She Was Asking For It
Look At How She Was Dressed!

China's Biggest Embezzler
Gets Extradited By The US

Someone Else Sues A Beer Company
After A DUI Fatality

"India's Meryl Streep" Dies In Plane Crash
Partial Filmography
Pictures

Your Not The Only One Who Is Sick
Of Those AOL CD's

No Comment From Jerry Stiller

New Charges For The "Naked Burglar"

Eat 20,000 Big Macs
Get Cameo In Movie No One Will See

Hijacking Foiled In Qatar

What Was Their Problem?

The Male Version of "THE PILL"

On Being A Dominatrix

Gang Rape In School Potty

MICROSOFT
The Patches Keep On Coming

Proof That You Can Sell Anyone, Anything:
Mormon Church 12 Million Strong
In Other Mormony News:
They Keep Baptizing Holocaust Victims

Ladies And Gentlemen
Meet Naked Karoake

Dying For Jewlery
26 Miners Dead In Brazil

Book on Muhammad Ali
Weights 66 Pound

Porn Industry On AIDS Hiatus

Northern Ireland Bans
"Idiots and Lunatics" From Voting

Stupid Bomb Maker Walks Free

ACTION NEWS REPORTER
Busted For Doctor Shopping

Cat Survives 30 Days
Being Sent In The Mail

Strange Object Beyond Pluto

Girl Killed By Falling Concrete Slab

Guy Who Gave Unrequested
Strip-O-Grams Busted

Kate Beckinsale Says
I Have Not Had A Boob Job


Alanis Morissette Threatens Nudity
Luckily It Was Just A Costume

Jesse The Body Venture Ponders
Presidential Run In 2008
Hilary Clinton Not Worried

Liberal Radio Flaming Out, Already

 
Lil Kim In A Lil Trouble

"OFF WITH HER HEAD"
He Declared
Chef Sentenced

Social Drinkers Beware

Barney Frank's Niece Murdered


He Ran Down A Jogger
So He Could Have Sex With
Her Dead Body

Rhino Loves Cars, Literally

Porn Exec Calls All Germans
"NAZIS"

Getting Gay Gays Out
Of A Tree

Supreme Court Not Game

Outsource This

Tamale Chef Kills,
And Cooks Friend

An Accident Straight Out
Of A Movie

The Invisible Man

To Get More Black Applicants
Miami PD Drops Swimming Req

A Wok As Weapon


Gun In Congressman's Carry-On Bag

Naked Intruder Beaten To
Death With Louisville Slugger

McDonalds CEO Dies At
McManagers Meeting

Also: Vets Upset That McDonalds
Fly's It Flags At Half Mast

Shyne, From Prison
Signs Record Deal

Girls Do Porn To Finance Prom

DNA Kits To Aide In The
Fight Against The Spitting Menace

Happy 4/20 To All
Those NORML People Out There

Sell Your Kids On Ebay

Warhol Soup Cans

Surge Seen In Hate Based
Websites That Target The Young

Madonna's Record Label
Losing Money

I'd Also Like To Give Nicole Kidman
The Heimlich Maneuver, Sort Of

 
Football Players Doing Yoga

Other Sports News:
NFL Cornerback Loses In
Footrace With Miami PD

Lottery Winner Dies In Accident
After Winning

Eminem Sucks In Bed
Not Literally - I Mean He's No Good At It

Support Your Porn Stars

Couple Made Daughter Wear
A Shock Collar

Boys Body Found In Oven
Man Charged

Run Over By His Own
Designated Driver

Jack Black To Star In Peter
Jacksons KING KONG

Woody Harrelson's Dad Is NOT
Going To Get Out Of Jail

Beyonce To Star In Pink Panter Remake

Settlement In Death By Hockey
Puck Case

Latino Culture Corner:
Mexican Company Turns Plane Body
Into Limousine

Movie News
Al Pacino To Play Napolean
Kubrick Is Spinning In His Grave...
Also - P. S. Hoffman To Play Capote!
Malkovich To Play In Hitchhikers
Guide To Galaxy

McGwire On The Steroid Situation

The Don Of Meat, In Custody


KILL QUENTIN
Near F-Bomb On American Idol
Shopping Without Pants
Related News
Daryl Hannah Acting Odd At Premiere

Flasher Attacked By Schoolgirls

Former Gun Club Offical
Not Allowed To Possess Firearms

Michael Moore's Thoughts
On Bush's Press Conference

Armed Men Abduct
Mayor, 13 Others

Woman "Asian In Appearance"
Bound and Distressed, But Unharmed

Not A Very Interesting Story
But The Wording Of The Story Is Odd

George Clooney's Dad Is Running
For Office News
- If You Care

MORE JORDAN NEWS
A Drinking Problem?

British Glamour Model Jordan
Is Having Trouble Making Ends Meet

And On The Heels of A Tirade

Pics of Jordan

Columbine Dad Challenges
Cheney On Assault Weapon Ban

Police Recruits Sickened
Restaurant Employees Sweating

Chemical Attack On Jordan Foiled

Driver Crashes Onto Roof Of Bar
No Word If Alcohol Played A Part...

India Announces It Has A Male J-Lo
I Thought We Already Had One

Guy Sets Girlfriend On Fire

Catch Her If You Can
(They Caught Her)

The Shock Jocks Will Find
Solice, Freedom In Satellite Radio

RIAA Singing The Same Old Song

Seniors Doing It More

Guy Falls From Stadium
Trying To Catch A Historic Home Run

Coming Soon
Faith-Based Prisons

Tim Berners-Lee
The Inventor of The Internet
Wins A Million Bucks

USA Today Founder Pissed Off
Over Fabrications

Backround

Web-Tapping Battle Lines Drawn

Adopted Chinese Babies
Spreading Measles

Big Breasted Man
Arouses Suspicion

Fellatio For Dummies


The Wonderful Thing About Tiggers....
Tigger Fondling Caught On Tape

Two US Soldiers Have Deserted


And The Hits Keep On Coming
 
Jacko and Liberace's Boyfriend?
The Michael Jackson Archive

Lowes Customer Bitten By Rattlesnake

Batmobile Recalled

McInternet Access

Kazaa On Fighting The Good Fight


Bin Laden Offers Truce?

World Not Impressed
Transcript

Starbucks Has More Caffeine
Than Other Javas

Librarians For Porn


After 15 Years, Matt Groening
Will Guest Star On His Own Simpsons


Kidnapping - Iraq's Newest Craze!

Forget The Alamo

Nine Year Old Girl
Steals A Bunny

British Scientist Killed
While Making Marmalade

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